I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
