Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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