My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
