I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
