I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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