I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
