I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
