your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
