Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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