i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
