break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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