Are we in a gay sports bar?
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I have already put on my inside pants.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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