Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
