We're like a lot better than the average bears
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
