Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
