Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
