How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Randomize
