Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
