Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
