i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You were trust falling into bushes
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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