Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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