Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
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