Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
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