is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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