So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
