Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
