Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize