He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
