Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
