i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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