just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
