What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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