Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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