i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
