just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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