It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
