Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Randomize
