u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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