How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
And the cops told us we were all naked.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
