She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
