White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
