whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
