i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
