dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Dear god my vagina.
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