No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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