you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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