so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
