what day is it and did you see me today?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
