everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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