??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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