So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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