how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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