In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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