Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
