Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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