South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
