kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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