So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
