yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize