just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
