your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Randomize
