You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
