You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
