All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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