im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
