I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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