I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just want to make out with him forever
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
