you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
