he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
