i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
