I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
