I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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