Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize