Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
