I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
