dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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