I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
