38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize