so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
